idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
