We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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