I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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