So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
