I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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