So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
