Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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