Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
