I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
