What did we do last night that was yellow?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize