never play flip cup with pint glasses
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
