He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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