Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
