I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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