at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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