I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
