Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
