y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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