sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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