his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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