New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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