He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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