i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
