Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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