Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
