A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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