I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
