i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
