He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize