if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I want to stick my p in your. b.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
