I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
