who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
