i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize