Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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