nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
