I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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