Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
