Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
