Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
