it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
farters have to be the big spoon...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
