i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize