do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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