This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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