Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
