I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
