She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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