Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
