i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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