ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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