so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
