For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
