He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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