Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize