i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
