I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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