A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
