He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
