some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
