I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
