what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
