Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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