I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
wow bdsm is so cute
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
